I have been off work this week and have spent it catching up with some of my lovely friends. So lovely as its been a long time since a good chat with some of them. Lovely day on Wednesday as Claire and I went for a 'quick coffee' which lasted 3 hours! Quite funny as this was the first time we had met up just us girls....leaving 'the husbands' at home to wonder. Apparently we both got in and were met with "what did you talk about for so long?" Erm girl stuff! haha! It is so lovely to have lots of lovely girlfriends now who can meet up at a moments notice when I was feeling a bit down and needed a friend! All of my girlies this week have really cheered me up!
I have been reading back over my blog too. I often get messages from people saying they have read my blog and think I am amazing for what I have come through! Even though I know what happened and I have written the blog, its quite interesting to read back over it myself sometimes! I always think it is useful to remember, not dwell on, but to not forget things. As hard as things were, I am a positive person now and I do believe in fate and destiny....I strongly believe that if my life had happened differently, if I hadn't been through the heartache, I wouldn't be the person I am today! I might not have met Kev how and when I did, I might not have found the strength to walk away and I don't think I would have learned to appreciate every day of love, happiness and overall - freedom as I do now!
It has been almost 3 years since I walked out of one house and into my home....away from my parents forever! Strange thinking back to the state I was in this time 3 years ago....torn....I had met Kevin by now and was in the middle of big arguments daily with my father, and still grieving for my Nanny Bess.....at the time I was just going through my life, same everyday and thought I was coping....its not until you look back you realise how screwed up it was!
And the fate thing....Kevin and I had our first kiss on the night that would have been Nanny's birthday - her first since she died! I remember thinking about her that night...almost like she was giving me a nudge in the right direction! Look at me now Nanny! :0
Anyway, what am I trying to say...? Well when people comment about how 'together' I am now after things from the past, well, yes I am and thank you, I am so glad that people see me that way.....but I wont pretend it's all forgotten! I am better, bright and happy but memories will never fade, they just get filed in a box that only I can access when I want to! I am in a place of acceptance now....I have been told before not to worry and agonise over things I have no power to change....wise words!
Thank you to all my old and new friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin...your support has been outstanding! As for my family....you're all amazing! I don't think you really completely understand how it feels for me to feel complete and utter acceptance and be a real part of a real family! I no longer dread Mothers' or Fathers Days! I no longer envy people for having lovely mothers, my mother-in-law has been more of a mum to me in 3 years than my mother ever was in 25!!! LOVE to all my family - see you Sunday :D
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Me many moons ago! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment