However, I missed them all so much over the years. I have so many fond memories of me and my cousins Hayley and Lucy when we were all small and of when my Aunt Linda used to look after my sister and I during school holidays...it was her who got me into watching 'This Morning' :) I remember when she was pregnant with Hayley, I used to sit and listen to her stomach. I was so excited. I never understood when I was small why Lin hadn't had children before my mum since she was the eldest....I thought everything in life had to happen in chronological order :) I remember meeting Uncle Andy for the first time, I think I was 3 or 4 and I wondered why Lin blushed a lot and hid behind a cushion.....when I got older and thought back, it was a new relationship and she was still a little coy LOL.
Some of those summers were the greatest when we were at Lin and Andy's all day. The sun was hot and we all splashed and played all day in the paddling pool....by then I must have been about 10, Hayley 4 and Lucy 2! Hayley had a love of wet sand and mud! :) We all got soaked through!
When the big argument happened, I was 11 and had just started at secondary school. I remember sitting in the coridoor at lunchtime thinking it was serious this time and I had a horrible sinking feeling! Anyway, the details are no longer relevant but basically all down to my father. There was a complete family split in 1996, that was the last time I saw or spoke to my Aunt, Uncle, cousins and grandparents for 15 years!!!
Well, in 2010, I decided to start my search. It didn't take long to find Hayley and Lucy on facebook and we soon became 'friends'. They didn't seem to hold any bad feeling or grudges towards me so that was a good start! After a few emails, they soon suggested I contact their mum too, my Aunt Linda. I was shaking as I sent a text message not sure of what response I would get. I was so scared of rejection. I knew my sister had been difficult over the years and I didn't want them to think I was too much hassle or that I was like her! Everything went well with Lin as I began to explain how and why I walked away from my 'family' and why it had taken me so long to get back in touch.
Soon, she suggested we all meet again. I was so excited but again, was filled with that fear of them not liking me. After all, I was 11 last time we saw each other and I was now a grown woman. I hoped I didn't have too much baggage. So, on 12th July, Kev and I drove down to Kent and back to the house I had so many memories. I was shaking, I was so nervous!
I am happy to say, it was a very successful meeting. Lin opened the door and gave me a great big hug. I couldn't get over how much she looked like my mum, they are sisters after all. She sounded like her too which was rather uncanny and quite spooky for me since I hadn't heard my mothers voice for over a year by then! I tried not to say too many negative things about my parents but Lin remembered what he was like....even Hayley remembered being scared of him and she was only 5 then! The pain was still fresh then and to be honest, I didn't have anything good to say!
Lin soon got out all the old photographs, it was lovely to see them all again! We reminisced over a glass of wine and told them all about our wedding which was now only 6 weeks away! It was a lovely day and I was 'buzzing' as we drove home! :) I hadn't been rejected, there had been no bad feeling, no blame (which I had had from my father) and no upset....except a few very happy tears!
That was a good day....and things went from strength to strength....! :D
Way back when, maybe 1994, Lin, Hayley, Lucy and me!
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