The next morning mum and dad left for work at 7.30am. I knew my father was on a short day at work and would probably be sent home at 9am...he just had to go in and show his face and be 'stood down'. Without even thinking through the consequences, I pulled on the first clothes I found, grabbed my handbag and car keys and left! I didnt pack a bag or take anything with me, all I could think was to get out and get away, he would be home any minute! I got in my car and headed towards Bury, terrified to look in my rear view mirror in case I saw my father behind me! I knew that as soon as he got home and saw me gone, he would come after me and would know I would be in Bury somewhere! In hind sght, I really wasnt driving safely at all, I think that was the fastest I had ever done the 30 mile journey, weaving all over the road, my hands shaking so much I could barely steer and my legs shaking I kept stalling at junctions....my delays made me more and more anxious as I kept thinking he was gaining on me, I knew I didnt have much time!
Luckily, I had never mentioned Kevin to them so as I was driving, I knew they wouldn't know his name to look up an address. I drove straight to Kevin and ran into his open arms! I had turned my phone off as I left the house as I knew I would get flustered as dad would start ringing anytime...I had to stay focused of getting to safety. Kevin had meant to be at a meeting that morning but something told him not to go, he had been trying to ring me but got no answer. He knew something was very wrong. He must have been looking for me because as soon as he saw my little yellow car, he came out. That was an emotional moment.....we were so in love and we hadnt even discussed that we were...as soon as he held me in his arms, I felt safer, but I had to get behind a locked door!
Kev took me and tried his best to calm me down. I told him I wanted to leave my phone off for a good few days, I knew what would be waiting when I did turn it on! I made Kev lock all the doors and windows and close all the curtains, I was terrified. I was sure he would find me.....I knew he would hate not having control and that is why I had never been able to leave before....he would always come after me.
It wasn't until mid morning that I remembered I was supposed to have been at work that day and I was now officially AWOL! Although my colleagues didn't know what had happened, they knew what dad was like so when I didn't turn up for work (unheard of for me) they all panicked. Some of the girls had met Kevin at my birthday bash and I found out later, the girls that were my friends were called into the office for an emergency meeting to try and find me. They managed to find Kevin's number. I had told Kev to trust no-one....not that I didn't trust my friends, I didn't trust my dad - he would stop at nothing to get information he wanted so I didn't want to put my friends in danger. Kevin's phone rang and it was Tina from the ward. He tried to say he didn't know anything but I could tell Tina was eager to just hear that I was in a safe place. She promised not to say anything to my dad and made everyone at work aware too. We all knew it would be no time before both parents were on the phone to the ward!
Well at least for then, I was safe, Kev wouldn't let any harm come to me but I couldn't relax. I knew there was no going back now...like I wrote in earlier blogs, there had to be drastic action coz it had become obvious he would never allow me to have a normal adult life.
I was out and away from him but I still didn't know what to do. Kevin and I agreed to take each day as it came. We knew we loved each other but with all the drama I had just bought into his life, I didn't know where our relationship would go. He said he would always be my friend....we would make a go of our relationship and hope it would work, if not, when things calmed down, he would help me find my own place. That was all we set ourselves...to deal with one day at a time.
So 9th April 2009, two days after my 25th birthday, was the day my life changed forever. I moved out of one awful, scary house into another full of love and happiness....and now I had to try and make sense of it all and build a future for myself/ourselves! I had Kevin now.... :)
My Nanny Bess always told me to keep written accounts of everything important in my life and in turn, it would help me make sense of everything. Well, in the last few years, there have been so many important events in my life - high's and lows, despair and finding a new lease in life that I haven't had a chance to keep track. Well, now things are settling down for me...here goes.... :)
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