I am a great believer in fate and I remember how we got talking. One day Kevin did one of these '10 interesting facts about me' things on facebook and number 1 said "I have Cystic Fibrosis". Then my nursing curiosity got the better of me. I remember sitting in Tesco car park near home and looking at facebook on my phone (facebook was another secret!), I didnt want to come across as nosey knowing what I did know of CF (which was very little)...but he had seemed very friendly and approachable so I sent a short inbox message simply saying "I hope you dont think I am nosey but I just saw that you have CF? Forgive my nursing curiosity but I always thought it was a childhood disease, do you mind telling me what its like to live with?" It turns out that Kevin didnt think I was being nosey or anything but said he respected me asking outright and explained everything to me. That message turned into us sending long inbox messages everyday getting to know each other. He fascinated and inspired me....not just because he has CF but because of the positive person he was...he seemed so easy to talk to. I ended up getting a fluttery stomach everytime I checked facebook in case I had a message from him.
I briefly told Kevin what home was like for me....simply saying I had a protective father. I never liked talking about it much, I was ashamed of things I put up with and completely embarrassed. But Kevin was different from other people, he didnt judge me but instead kept asking questions and seemed genuinly concerned. He made it so easy to open up!
We started meeting up in my time after work and before salsa and started going shopping and for dinner. We asked other people along to dinner too although we found out years later that they all saw the chemistry and knew why they had been invited along - neither of us wanted to appear like we wanted to alone with the other! LOL
By the next Salsa party in February, we had become firm friends and were almost like an unofficial couple and I dressed especially to try and impress him. Again, I got my hair done - dyed and cut and had a new top. People already saw we were good friends as this pic was snapped! :) Funny looking back on this - close but neither of us wanted to seem too strong by hugging for the picture haha!
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Kevin asked me out on a date but I said no. I had had secret relationships in the past and it just didn't work. My father wasnt in the right frame of mind for me to go home and say i'd met someone...his behaviour was getting worse. Kevin was diffferent, I couldnt face the thought of us getting closer knowing I would inevitably end up hurting him when he wanted me to talk to my parents about him etc....he already meant to much to me so I pleaded we just stay good friends....although in hind sight we never were just friends.....the chemistry had been there since the first time we saw each other!
Then what happened next......I definitely believe in fate and destiny....
There was a Salsa party being held in Sudbury a few weeks later (14th March) on a Saturday night. Lots of salsa friends were going as well as Kevin. By now, I wanted to spend as much time with Kevin as I could but straight away I had a dread in my stomach at the thought of saying I wanted to go out on a Saturday night!! I knew it would brew trouble. As suspected my father threw a big sulk and I could tell he was looking for any reason to start an argument with me. I planned on going - my sneakiness by now had stepped up to levels of me memorising Kevin's number so I didn't need to store it in my phone...it was regularly being checked by Dad for male numbers and all my texts got read....my friends knew not to text me anymore.
Well even up to the day of the party my father was still sulking and throwing stupid comments at me. Like I knew he would, he started an argument with me just hours before I was due to leave for the party. I knew he was trying to get me to say "fine I wont go then" as I always had done in the past when he got to be too much hassle, I was close to it as the argument escalated and he started punching things and shouting.....that was usually my breaking point coz I would get scared. But the thought of seeing Kevin made me stubborn. I went to the party!!! I strongly believe I was meant to get to that party.....something was nagging at me not to give in to my father....not this time!
And what a great decision that was.....I remember everything about it. By then Kevin wasn't hiding his flirtatious comments and that night we all got taught body rolls (dance move rolling your body down your partner)....when Kevin and I had to do it together, he whispered in my ear "Ange, you really don't have to practice body rolls - ppwwhhoar!" haha I went a lovely shade of red! Later on that night we shared a very steamy Bachatta ( a dance where two bodies are very close, legs entwined etc).....our friends commented on our chemistry and we both needed to cool down after that! :) During another dance, Kevin spun me and we landed nose to nose......we very nearly had our first kiss right there on the dance floor, we both wanted to but looked round to see all our friends watching us so we pulled away! This picture shows how close we felt by then.
That night after the party, we did indeed have our first kiss. It felt so right and I was so happy! he was perfect, we were perfect but I still had the awful fear of hurting him......but at that moment, that kiss was all I could think about :D
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