It was amazing night...I met lots of Kevin's friends and family...another sister I hadn't yet met and more nieces and nephews! We loved how many congratulations we got, we felt incredibly loved! A few weeks later we moved house...only a mile down the road but a bigger place, close to town and it was just ours. I particularly had wanted to move...the memory of that day I turned up there would always be with me and I wanted us to start anew...with no bad memories. We loved our new house and are still here 2 years later!
As much as we were so happy, everything was not rosey for me. Walking away from my father was not the overnight cure I had hoped for but left me with more hang ups than I realised. The flashbacks were improving but were still there. I had real confidence issues and was so worried about screwing things up between Kevin and I. My parents and sister were still trying very hard to mess things up for me by writing letters to work, stalking on facebook and writing awful, slanderous comments about me on public walls, and even later, a letter from my parents trying their hardest to get me struck off from the NMC (Nursing and Midwifery Council) Register by writing lies. As a member of a professional body, allegations such as these had to investigated. This is an awful situation and heartbreaking to know my parents could go to such lengths to get control! Obviously, nothing was found as I never have and never will be anything but a law abiding person who takes pride in my nursing work....! It became clear to all involved that this was a malicious act of revenge. Unbelievable behaviour....I started to think they would never give up.
Eventually, I did the thing I said I would never do, contacted the Police! I didn't want anyone to get into trouble....for some reason, after everything my father had put me through I still had a need to stick up for him, I suppose it had become habit from a young age. I printed off all the emails that had been exchanged between my father and I and I showed the Police. Kevin and I both commented on the Policeman's body language. He started off sitting on the sofa and in a usual slumped forward position reading these emails.....by the end of his reading...he was sitting bolt upright and in aggressive body stance. He was a father and obviously his body tensed as he read things he didnt like! All 3 members of my 'family' were issued with harrassment warnings...! I felt guilty and then resented by guilt....I never wanted to invove the Police but it came to a point I had to show I wasn't messing around, me walking away was serious and permanent and it was time for them to move on and leave me alone!!!
I had many issues with own personality and felt I had many 'flaws' which could all be attributed to my fathers treatment of me. Kevin and I spoke about it and I decided to go for some counselling. A very painful journey but absolutely the best decision we ever made. It really helped me see things differently and I realised that it was in fact my father that had been at fault and nothing I had done. She also helped me come to the decision about seeking out my mothers side of the family I had lost 15 years previously! I had mixed emotions and it came down to me having an intense fear of rejection. This counselling was the turning point for me and from then on, I went from strength to strength with Kevin still firmly by my side!
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